Backstory: My roommate and I used to alter lyrics to popular songs to accommodate the name of whatever food we were enthusiastically consuming at the time (for example, Lady Gaga: "That boy is a mon-sterrrrr (muh-muh-muh-monsterrrr)" Us: "That boy is a ba-gellllllllll (buh-buh-buh-bagellllllll)")
Also: My old boss was hungover a lot.
In the break room, boss passed out with her head against the wall, unswallowed latte dribbling down her cheek:
Me: (muttering, my back to her, preparing my lunch in the microwave) We built this city... we built this city... we built this city on spa-ghe-tti!
Boss: (without so much as opening her eyes) that's not how it goes...
Another thing my boss did pretty consistently was spend money and tell us about the money she was spending. Which, you know- Was fun for us. Because of how much we cared how she spent all the money she payed herself as opposed to giving us raises or paying us for the overtime we were owed, as dictated by law. Her Choos were way more exciting than the gas bill.
Boss: (flipping idly through a catalogue) Oh! I found a tae-bo!
Co-Worker: Typo.
Boss: I know that. Don't you think I know that? Tae Bo is for sushi. Look! They wrote "Fox Leather!" For one thing- they spelled it wrong and that's extra dumb, cuz everyone knows foxes have fur! You can't make leather from fur.
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